Scenes From Literature

“‘Mr Willet,’ he said with something between a sob and a hiccup, ‘I got something to ask you.’ ‘Well, git on with it,’ said Mr Willet sharply. The draught from the door was cruel. Arthur Coggs looked behind him furtively, then advanced another step. ‘Willet, are you saved?’ he pleaded earnestly. Mr Willet’s patience snapped at this insult to as steady-going a churchman as the village boasted. ‘Saved?’ he echoed. ‘I’m a durn sight more saved than you are, you gobbering, great fool!’ And he attempted to push Arthur through the door. But, with the strength of one who burns with nine pints of beer and religious convictions, Arthur thrust him aside, closed the door with a backward kick, and came further into the room. He leant heavily on the table and looked across at the incensed Mr Willet. ‘But ’ave you seen the light?’ he persisted. ‘Do your limbs tremble when you think of what’s to come?’”

“Mr Willet’s limbs were trembling enough, as it was, with cold and fury. He opened his mouth to speak, but was shouted down. ‘Gird on your armour, Willet!’ bellowed Arthur, his breath coming in beery waves across the table. He brandished his arms wildly, knocking down a very old fly-paper, that fell glutinously across the red serge tablecloth. ‘Gird on your sword! Gird on your ’elmet, Willet!’ His eye lit upon two stuffed owls that dominated the dresser by the fire-place. Carefully he lifted the heavy glass cover from them, and, with a glad cry, dropped it over his own head. The stuffed owls swayed on their dead branch, and Mrs Willet gave a little wail, and came down the last three stairs. Like some enormous goldfish Arthur rounded on her, eyes gleaming through the cover. ‘You saved?’ he bellowed suspiciously to the newcomer, steaming up the glass as he spoke. ‘Yes, thank you,’ murmured Mrs Willet faintly, shrinking behind her husband. ‘Then put on your ’elmet,’ advised Arthur, tapping the glass by his right ear. ‘Gird your loins—!’ ‘’ Ere, that’s enough of that!’ shouted Mr Willet, enraged. He caught hold of the dome above Arthur’s shoulders and attempted to force it off; but so heavy was it, and so much taller was his visitor, that he found it impossible to accomplish. ‘Sit you down, will ’ee?’ screamed Mr Willet, giving the glass a vicious slap and Mr Coggs a most unorthodox blow in the stomach. Arthur folded up neatly and sat, winded, on the horsehair sofa……

“This dreadful scene had direct repercussions on our school life, for Joseph Coggs was absent the next morning, spoiling the week’s record of attendance for the infants’ room. ‘Me dad overdone it,’ he explained in the afternoon, ‘and we was all late up.’”

— Village School (Fairacre Book 1) by Miss Read